Up All Night - 1x09 - Hirings and Firings

I hate Molly Shannon. This isn't going to be a screed or nerdrage rant about why she's on the show, or how I don't find her schtick particularly amusing, or anything like that. I just felt we needed to get that out of the way first. You know, clear the air, agree on terms of negotiations, all that jazz. It'll also hopefully serve to explain why an episode that was enjoyable in every other respect, really felt like a huge letdown after last week's awesome Jason Lee/Beastie Boys mosh pit outing. In a show like this, where it's best moments are often subdued and naturalistic, a guest star can completely dominate the tone of the scenes they're in. When you've got Jason Lee's affable straight man, you get great chemistry. When you've got Superstar!-as-an-adult, shit gets facepalmy real fast.

Molly Shannon joins us as an Ava! show staffer with the omega-level super power of the Reverse Midas touch; everything she touches turns to shit. In the space of this one episode alone, she loses the complimentary car Ava was going to surprise a cash-strapped long-suffering mother/guest with, forgets to actually get the car back, and then loses the mother/guest somewhere in the vast network of international airports in this country. The only thing she can't seem to actually lose is her job. Ava blames it on Reagan having grown soft after having a baby, but Reagan maintains that she sees potential in her. What Reagan actually sees in her is an adoring fan and a fellow struggling mother. When she tries to fire her with an awesomely hilarious canned speech and "transition package", Molly just keeps going on and on about how blown away she is by Reagan's ability to "have it all". Touched and flattered, Reagan keeps her on (against Ava's adamant orders) and tries to buckle down and show Molly the basics of  multitasking  answering phones   taking a fucking message functioning as a human being, but eventually just has to admit that Molly's "The WORST" and is forced to finally fire her. But that's okay, because she happens to have a job opportunity for Molly that she'd be "perfect" for. We'll get to that later.

"You know what you have to do if you wanna keep this job.
Come on, Mary Katherine. For old time's sake..."

Because the best part of the show, is the power struggle between Ava and Reagan. After losing complete confidence in Reagan's ability to be her usual hard ass self, Ava takes it upon herself to take over the hiring and firing duties that are usually Reagan's domain. Reagan isn't going to let this happen without a fight, and the ensuing carnage spills over onto innocent bystanders, including Missy, who flips the fuck out (twice!) after mistakenly believing she's been fired (twice!), and Michael, a poor hapless fellow who has the single most uncomfortable (and illegal) job interview of his life. Missy's screaming, pants-shittingly-scary breakdowns (twice!) were epic. That actress/character always seemed like she's got a lot of story hidden in her somewhere, and I love it when they explore that. Ava's horrendously inappropriate interview technique ("So, any inspiring stories about overcoming drug addiction?" / "So, tell us about your boyfriend!") was also a wonder to behold. I'd watch half an hour of cheery, polite, and wholly illegal HR interviews anytime. In lieu of that, watching Reagan and Ava's death match culminate in them trying to fire each other in full view of the entire staff. It comes down to a newly-serene Chris to get them in the same room to talk things out. Ultimately they can find peace when Reagan finally admits that she made a mistake and Molly Shannon is, in fact, as previously mentioned "The WORST".

Missy, meanwhile, is The BEST.

To his credit Chris was only really able to broker a peace between the two dueling powers because he'd managed to work off his ego and hostility on the mean ol'ice. See the stress of 24/7 parenting was finally starting to get to Chris. He was starting to fight with Amy, accusing her of taking him for granted, of plotting behind his back, of loving Reagan more, and calling him a jerk under her breath. The fact that she can barely hold her head up right, and is likely not even sentient yet, didn't seem to actually phase him. The guy needed a break. So they decided to finally hire a regular babysitter so Chris can go out and play hockey to burn off some steam every once in awhile (which also explained that random shot of Will Arnett in hockey gear in the new opening credits). Though Chris is very nervous about leaving Amy with a stranger on a regular basis, he does put together a list of some folks to interview. And by "some folks" I mean a drop dead gorgeous nanny with a degree in ...something or other. Seriously, I just blanked out for this entire portion

no, seriously...what were we talking about?

Chris is also apparently a little tongue-tied, as is his wont around beautiful women (apparently his first words to Reagan were "You have blurn hair, I love blurn hair." Aw.), but she's hired anyway. Of course, when she starts playing "The Dead" (as in the Grateful kind), he gets paranoid about her being into that drug culture all the kids are into, starts mucking about in her purse (while she's five feet away), and basically, that's the end of that arrangement. He's forced to drop Amy off with Reagan at work, where she ends up being watched by Molly Shannon, which leads to Reagan and Chris hiring her as their new nanny.

"Don't worry, it's not weird. I just needed something that smells of you..."

Okay, about eight thousand things wrong with this, but I'll just stick with the top three:

• You really trust this woman with the care of your child? She literally can't work a Post-It pad.
• Can a part-time nanny-ing job really make up for the one she just lost, financially speaking? Do the Brinkley's pay really well, or does the Ava show pay really bad? 
• This better not fucking mean Molly Shannon is now a recurring cast member on this show.

That face will forever be in your child's subconscious. Forever.