New Girl - 1x04 - Naked

I swear, at some point I'll start writing about unreservedly good shows. It's just so much easier to find something to say about shows that almost have it, but have one fatal flaw or another. Of course, it helps if a show's fatal flaw isn't it's lead character.

I want to like this show, I really do. The writing seems to be there, the production values, the direction, even the actors. I mean Winston is no Daman Wayans Jr, but he's growing on me. The problem is, and I'm certain I'm not alone on this, I just straight up can't believe Zooey Deschanel's character. Will that be a huge problem?

You fail irony.

She's just a straight up Manic Pixie Dream Girl, with absolutely no twist, no self-awareness, and not even a smidgen of realism. Are we really supposed to believe that this model-level gorgeous (and thus likely extremely popular) young woman went through her entire life never having any idea what proper socialization is? I mean it'd be one thing if she just chose to act this way on purpose, as an ironic hipster rebellious thing, but the show makes it clear that she is just plain socially deficient to a degree that makes you wonder if she was just locked in a basement for the first 20 years of her life. It'd even be another thing if this was some bizarre 30 Rock-esque parallel universe where a man's first reaction to a jaw-droppingly beautiful women is annoyance and disgust, but it's not. In every other respect it's a realistic, grounded world.

Combine all this with the fact that we seem to be in the midst of some kind of twee/hipster social backlash, and unless The New Girl finds a way to either revamp her character into someone less annoying and more capable (i.e. LeslieKnopeify) or just plain cut out the annoying bullshit, I don't see this show gaining enough traction for a second season. And that would really suck, because the one weak spot in the concept aside, I can really see the potential in this show. It approaches a lot of the same tired sitcom tropes through a fresh and subdued lens (again, Deschanel aside), it lets plots breathe at their own pace without feeling decompressed or rushed, and it really seems to want to say meaningful stuff about the quarter-life ennui all it's characters seem to be stuck in. I don't know, maybe I'm seeing more than is there.

Oh right, the episode itself.

Okay, that you should be ashamed of. Everything you're
doing now. You should feel very bad about all of that.

Alright. So. Naked. Nick finally has his first real date since Caroline, and she's also a ridonklously hot bartender. I love you Nick, but I hate you. The Hot Bartender also speaks exlusively in ironic tones, which makes it really hard to figure out where you stand with her. Of course it doesn't help that since, by Hollywood standards, Nick's the token "chubby one" (despite having apparently like 1% body fat), his body image needs a little self esteem boost, courtesy of some ill-advised naked-mirror dancing or something. Jess walks in and does the single worst thing: giggles. Not even a giggle, a straight up mocking laugh. Jesus Christ, Jess. Even I shrunk at that. Damn cold. As I'm sure it was in the room. I stand by you, Nick. Not too close though.

Pictured: My fourth most recurring nightmare.

"How did I somehow mess up two willingly naked women 
in my room??"

That totally messes with Nick's game, and he ends up having to give the "This has never happened to me before" speech to Hot Bartender. This, obviously, leaves him supremely pissed at Jess for psyching him out, which she just exacerbates by insisting they talk about how her laughing at his weewee made him unable to perform his manly duties. That goes about as well as you would expect. Cece advises Jess that the only way for things to get even, is for Nick to see her naked. After an episode's worth of humorous hallway chasing and a commercial break's worth of hemming and hawing, she finally goes for it, waiting in his room completely naked which...probably sending mixed signals there, lady. Turns out, as usual, her timing is horrible, because Nick has already gotten over the issue himself, and was JUST about to seal the deal with Hot Bartender, when a naked Jess pops up and ruins everything. Nice. At least Nick got a decent look at two hot naked ladies.

"Why the fuck is this guy on a horse?!?"

In the meantime, Winston tries to catch up on the two years worth of pop culture references he missed while he was playing basketball in Latvia. That actually seemed like it would be a really funny subplot, and the visuals were great (two laptops going at once, for instance), but nothing really hilarious came out of it. And I'm still not sure if I wanted an "A black man named Barack Obama is President?!?" joke to come out of that, but it didn't.

Oh and Schmidt spends the entire episode trying to get a look at Nick's penis because somehow, he's the only one in that apartment that hasn't seen it. He's really, really eager to see it. I'd describe more, but it's just one or two funny sight gags, and a fairly amusing animated gif (that I'm working on!).