How I Met Your Mother - 7x21 - Now We're Even

Ted is enjoying the new found freedom that comes from finally living alone for the first time in his adult life. And because it's Ted, "new found freedom" means sad, depressing, and occasionally flat out dangerous things he can do without anybody pointing out how stupid they are.



Specifically, he's spending his time running around naked, eating horrible foods, and generally letting his apartment and life go to rot. To be honest, it starts looking less like "new found freedom" and more like early-stage depression.

"People make fun of the guy who stays at home doing nothing.
But the truth of it is, that guy's a genius!"
--there's no use in trying to butter me up, Ted

But naked time keeps getting interrupted by Barney who insists his new philosophy is to Make Every Night Legendary. So he drags Ted out of his sty, bringing him on some legitimately awesome adventures. When Ted finally has enough and puts his foot down, Barney confesses that he needs these constant awesomenesses because he can't bear to be home alone while his girlfriend is out all night stripping and lap dancing.

Which...okay admittedly I'll never be in his position, so I really can't judge but...really? It's not like he's some naive young kid who confuses sexual attention with love. Unless he's literally afraid she's going to run off with another patron, why all the drama about who's lap she's rubbing her butt on. Lusty Leopard Value Card Member that he is, he should know it doesn't mean anything. I'm probably being too harsh. Love is love and all that, and it's hardly ever logical. It just seems a little surprising to get this much hand wringing over this from Barney of all people. Ted, definitely. Not Barney.

"I have to move him out of my apartment. Don't ask."

Anyway, while this is going on, Marshall is trying to figure out who Lily had a raunchy sex dream about, and is absolutely horrified when it turns out to be Ranjit (Ranjit!). Something, something, something about being attracted to good fathers and pregnancy hormones and who cares? What I really wanted to hear more about was Marshall's Emotional Color Codes. What comes after "Vermillion of Carnal Shame"??

Wine of Loosened Morals, perhaps? Auburning Passion?

Over in Robin-land, despite being elevated to permanent co-host at her national news network, Robin still can't seem to get recognized, even by the security guard who sits next to a giant picture of her eight hours a day.

I'm not gonna lie. I've had this exact dream.

When Robin's poor helicopter pilot suffers a stroke during a traffic report though, it's Robin's turn to shine. Forced to land the copter, her saga captivates the entire city, and makes her an instant celebrity. Everyone she's ever known in her life calls her to ask her how she is.

Except Ted, who sends her a needlessly drawn out text message.

Really? Three separate texts for one eighteen word sentence?
After she almost just died? Cockpunch, Ted.

Random Thoughts

• "He smurfed the smurf out of her" "While the Cos smurfed off in the corner"  -- Even the laugh track gave that the muted, quiet chuckle it deserved.  You can do better show, Marshall.
• Rose quartz of the mildly embarassed, tomato red of the abashed, vermillion, the color of carnal shame.
• ...wait, why is a national news network covering local traffic?