Fringe - 4x07 - Wallflower

You know, it's kind of weird. When I think back on my good memories of the X-Files, I mostly remember the government conspiracies, the alien abductions, the magic cell phones that worked every-fucking-where. When I look back on Fringe in about ten years, I'll probably mostly remember the multiple universes, the Walternates and Fauxlivias, Eddie Finnerty maybe being sorta immortal. But the bread and butter of both these shows were/are the prolific "monster of the week" episodes. These are the episodes that hook the general public in, these are the episodes where the creative teams cut their teeth, where production creates entirely new worlds from scratch, and where the most beloved episodes come from. Now, this isn't really going to be one of those great beloved episodes, but it was pretty damn good. And it occurred to me while watching that I should be annoyed that the bigger, incomprehensible Peter plot is plodding along while we deal with another Not!Vampire, but instead I'm just plain entertained. This is why Fringe will probably age better than it's predecessor.

Fringe - 4x06 - And Those We Left Behind

God damn, what is it about Fringe and time travel that breaks my heart every single fucking time? White Tulip was practically Emmy bait, what with  Robocop  Peter Weller's mournful, stoic performance complimenting John Noble's mournful, batshit crazy one, and all culminating in a perfect, closed, paradox-less time loop. I fucking loves me some paradox-less time loops. And this week, we get Stephen. Motherfucking. Root. as a ...mournful scientist (hmm...) desperately scrambling to create a perfect universe where he can be with his wife forever.

Castle - 4x05 and 4x06 - Quick Thoughts!

I'm still so damn behind on Castle, even though it's one of my favorite shows this season. So I'm going to try and double up on some posts, see if I can't catch up soon.

Up All Night - 1x10 - Week Off

My recording of this week's ep got a little FUBAR'ed so it took me a little longer than usual to get around to watching it (thank you, Hulu!). Luckily, it was a relatively mellow episode, not great, but not bad either. A catastrophic pipe leakage/bursting issue in the floor above the Ava offices shuts down operations for a week giving everyone seven days to stretch their characters in fresh new directions. We get to see Reagan/Christina Applegate indulge her batshit crazy side without ever losing respect for her (like in Cool Neighbors), which I thought was pretty sweet. We got to see Ava show her sweet side again (not coincidentally due to Jason Lee returning). And to top it all off, we got to see Chris dip his toe back in lawyer infested waters, and thrive in his previous element.

2 Broke Girls - 1x10 - And The Very Christmas Thanksgiving

Okay so, after ten mediocre episodes, I think the best thing we can take away from this show is that Beth Behrs should really get more work after this whole...thing is finally over and done with. If Tom Hanks can come out of Bosom Buddies, Behrs should at least be able to get a season or two's work on a more deserving show. This show's potential may fluctuate wildly from week, but the one thing that's consistently enjoyable is her portrayal of Caroline as a fully-rounded, pragmatic, yet consistently optimistic young woman. Ironically it took an episode where all that comes tumbling down in a manic, violent, upper fueled, elf-pixie-filled mental breakdown to really appreciate that.

How I Met Your Mother - 7x11 - The Rebound Girl

Holy balls, yes! Shit is STILL getting real! Said shit is getting real at such a pace that the function of Real Getting plotted versus time is reaching an asymptotic curve! What I'm saying is, we're about thirty paces from officially being Balls To The Wall here. I mean, we are in serious danger of veering into latter day Friends territory here (and I don't think anyone wants to see that happen), but I am just so happy this show has finally decided to get up off it's ass and stop treading water. It's been like four seasons of nothing new happening, and in the span of three episodes everything's changed! Okay, producer dudes, don't break my heart here. Pull this off. Don't punt, don't drop the ball, don't Friends this okay? Make me proud here!

Up All Night - 1x09 - Hirings and Firings

I hate Molly Shannon. This isn't going to be a screed or nerdrage rant about why she's on the show, or how I don't find her schtick particularly amusing, or anything like that. I just felt we needed to get that out of the way first. You know, clear the air, agree on terms of negotiations, all that jazz. It'll also hopefully serve to explain why an episode that was enjoyable in every other respect, really felt like a huge letdown after last week's awesome Jason Lee/Beastie Boys mosh pit outing. In a show like this, where it's best moments are often subdued and naturalistic, a guest star can completely dominate the tone of the scenes they're in. When you've got Jason Lee's affable straight man, you get great chemistry. When you've got Superstar!-as-an-adult, shit gets facepalmy real fast.

New Girl - 1x06 - Thanksgiving

Continuing the trend of deflecting Zooey's annoying "adorableness" by bringing in some extra Crazy, this episode we get the male version of Zooey Deschanel, Justin Long, playing the male version of Jess. Actually that may be mean to Zooey. I imagine even at our most bitter, we still love her a lot more than Justin Long. Sorry dude. If it makes you feel any better, I'm probably the one person on the planet that didn't think you came off as a smug asshole in those Apple commercials. Ironic, huh?

New Girl - 1x05 - Cece Crashes

So, while I still have all the reservations I mentioned about this show in the last post, this episode (and the one after) really went a long way towards allaying my fears. Whether that's soon enough to overcome the Zooey Deschanel backlash we won't know for awhile, but if they can keep on the path they've started to chart this episode, I can see this becoming a pretty great show.

New Girl - 1x04 - Naked

I swear, at some point I'll start writing about unreservedly good shows. It's just so much easier to find something to say about shows that almost have it, but have one fatal flaw or another. Of course, it helps if a show's fatal flaw isn't it's lead character.

I want to like this show, I really do. The writing seems to be there, the production values, the direction, even the actors. I mean Winston is no Daman Wayans Jr, but he's growing on me. The problem is, and I'm certain I'm not alone on this, I just straight up can't believe Zooey Deschanel's character. Will that be a huge problem?

2 Broke Girls - 1x09 - And the Really Petty Cash

Alright, so far, so ...adequate. The show hasn't backslid into worse morass of cheapness and lameness. Facepalms were kept below concussion levels, and I'm even still interested in the story. You've bought yourself another week Girls.

Actually, snarkiness aside, this was actually a pretty decent progression of the Johnny storyline. Still hate this stupid face, but at least it's becoming more clear that he's probably a self-absorbed asshole, and Max's actions and reactions ring pretty damn true. And as much as I appreciate the fact this show resisted the urge to make the Paris Hilton-expy a bitch, I do kind of like the little hints of true-to-life panic and temporary (benign) selfishness Caroline is starting to exhibit.

How I Met Your Mother - 7x10 - Tick, Tick, Tick

Holy shit. Shit just got real, y'all. Or shit briefly got real, before being put on the back burner for about 4-6 eps, before being briefly brought up one or two more times before the finale. I'm hoping not. I like the idea of everything going balls to the walls each episode this season. For the first time in a while it feels like they're not just treading water for a season (I mean obviously they are in terms of the Mother, but in general), and it also doesn't feel like they're going to punt like they did with the whole dispersing tease in early Season 4. Love has been declared, relationships irreparably broken, nachos were eaten from the garbage! And we get an super fun subplot, epic in scope, to balance it all out! Please don't eff this up, guys.

Up All Night - 1x08 - First Night Away

Aww, okay now that was fucking sweet. I mean, not in like a "fuckin sweet brah" kind of way, but in a just...just, you know... awww, motherfucker! Reagan and Chris decide it's finally time for them to spend a night away from little Amy so they can get their swerve on, leaving Ava to babysit little Amy and flirt with Studly Single Dad Jason Lee. And aside from a few painfully awkward moments with the hotel clerk, everyone comes out of this episode looking pretty awesome and like someone you'd like to get to know better. Fuckin Sweet, Brah.

2 Broke Girls - 1x08 - And the Hoarder Culture

Okay this is confusing. I'm about THIS close to completely giving up on this show. Seven episodes in, and the show still hasn't sloughed off it's face-palmy brand of horrible jokes and lazy racism. I stayed with the show because I always kind of assumed the said horribleness would eventually naturally erode away. I thought there could not possibly be sitcom writers in this generation that would allow such ineptitude to stand week after week. Then I found out that Whitmey co-created this show. Yes THAT Whitney. THAT FUCKING WHITNEY. How did I not put that together before? I'm an idiot. Suddenly, it all makes sense. Suddenly, it seems very much likely that everything horrible will become the norm and not the exception. The prospect of this show actually becoming decent has become so much more unlikely, and quite frankly, there are so many more ...adequate things on television. So I was ready to throw in the towel.

And then this episode airs. Now this is not a great episode by any objective means. It's not even a good episode when compared to the whole of television this season. But it is the least offensive this show has gotten, and, were it not for the whole Whitney factor, I would almost assume this show is moving in an upward trajectory. So I'm going to give it another week or two. Whitney has to be busy with her own "show" over on the other network. Maybe better writers will trickle in. Let's pray.

Because AWESOME THAT'S WHY

How I Met Your Mother - 7x09 - Disaster Averted

The gang flashes back to Hurricane Irene! And yes, that is a very apt metaphor for a confusing and disappointing anticlimax! Ted wants to leave the city for Westchester and bring everyone with him, but no one believes the storm will be that bad! Robin keeps talking about weird shit Canadians do outside in hurricanes in various states of undress! Soon enough it's not up to them anymore and, boom, trapped! Marshall wil be without health insurance for a whole two weeks! For some reason, he believes staying near Lily at ALL times until then will protect him from bear attacks! I don't know why I'm yelling everthing! And finally, most importantly, the Ducky Tie is challenged, and the Slap Bet returns!

Now THAT's what I'm talking about! Callback references with meaningful follow-through! Interesting story lines  Guest starts that aren't dead weight! A bit of a fumble towards the end there and followed by a cliffhanger that makes my cliche-hairs stand on end (don't ask where they are), but at least means we're moving things forward! I loved this ep. Well, I liked this ep. More lowered expectations? I don't care! I'm in again!

Up All Night - 1x07 - Parents

Slowly working my way to catching up. Bear with me folk(s).

So Reagan's parents drop by for a surprise visit, pretty much reverting Reagan back all the way to her adolescent state. It's an episode premise we've seen before, but let's face it, it's cliche for a reason: it happens to all of us. Not all of us, however, were used as unwilling subjects by our psychologist mothers so they could write highly praised (if apparently clueless) texts on the 'correct' way to raise children. In a complete coincidence, the specter of grim death is also a recurring theme in this episode.

Castle - 4x04 - Kick the Ballistics

I know this episode is more than a few weeks old, but I'm just catching up, and damn it, I have to start writing about something other than mediocre sitcoms, or I'll just end up burning this blog to the ground and collecting the insurance.

This week our mystery gets a few twists and turns, does a little bob and weave, pulls a couple o'switcheroos. I have no idea why I'm talking like this. Writing three recaps in a row plays tricks with your mind grapes). A run of the mill mob execution turns out to be a murdered co-ed who turns out to have been shot with the gun that our least faovirte serial killer, 3XK, took from Detective Ryan last season, but turns out to have dumped off on a frenemy he made in the joint, hoping he'd use it and get caught, cause, no matter what, 3XK is a fucking dick. All those turns make one dizzy. They also don't leave Detective Ryan feeling too good about the whole thing.

2 Broke Girls - 1x07 - And the Pretty Problem

Meh. I'm not AS disappointed in this one was I was in HIMYM, but that's only because I expected more from HIMYM. All this show has to do is get through one episode without a horribly unfunny racial joke and it'll impress me. This was not that episode.

Because I CAN'T UNSEE

How I Met Your Mother - 7x08 - The Slutty Pumpkin Returns

Well that was disappointing. The almost palpable lack of inspiration (wait, can you palpate a lack of something?) found in last Monday's CBS comedies was probably the primary reason these recaps are over a week late. I'd love to say I was out rock and rolling it up on Halloween (that's what the kids do these days, right? Rock and roll?), but it was just...bad television. I enjoyed Hawaii Five-0's half-assed spooky episode more than these two. No that's not a compliment for Hawaii Five-0.

2 Broke Girls - 1x06 - And the Disappearing Bed

This one was pretty amusing. Still had it's godawful share of godawful jokes, but it looks like the cast and writers are finally getting into the groove of things. Earl is being integrated into the jokes a lot less awkwardly/non-racistly. Caroline has her trademark can-do attitude finally bite her in the ass. And Max, for the first time since the pilot, shows us why she's someone we would actually want to be friends with. She vigorously defends Caroline against a stingy tipper, without hesitation. She willingly opens up and share,about her relationship with Johnny, and takes responsibility for screwing up what should have been a simple talk with Peaches. All in all, this friendship is starting to feel real and not just like the result of sitcom-design-by-committee. It'd still be nice to see the day when Max finally gets on board with this whole bakery thing, instead of letting Caroline do all the damn work, and then whining about passing out a business card, but baby steps, I guess.

How I Met Your Mother - 7x07 - Noretta

Holy crap, there was some goddamn nightmare fuel here. I'm honestly surprised it wasn't next week's Halloween episode.

It's a psychological house of horrors as Marshall and Lily struggle with the concept of having sex with their respective dads, Barney and Nora's date is met with a series of improbable tragedies not seen since an 80's teen movie, and  Kumar   Kutner  Kevin finally has a dawning realization of the fucked up situation he's finding himself in since he agreed to date his patient.

And we sit through this trauma show for the sake of the parade of loveable past guest stars that only stay for cringe inducing scenes. Bring a bottle of whiskey and join me, why don't you?

Up All Night - 1x06 - Birth

No new real ground is tread here, but we get a reliably amusing birthin' story, some great poop jokes, awesome line deliveries from Christina Applegate, Nick Cannon stepping up and getting noticed, and...did I mention the poop jokes?

It also really confirms that unlike a lot of sitcoms this season, this show actually has a singular voice with a story to tell behind it. That story may not be entirely original, but it's told well, and in an entertaining manner, so I've got no regrets.

Also, seriously, poop.

2 Broke Girls - 1x05 - And the 90's Horse Party

After accidentally picking up Max's landline phone and having to deal with a persistent creditor, Caroline becomes concerned about Max's staggering debts. Desperate to find a way to help her friend dig herself out of her hole, even as Max ignores and belittles her attempts, Caroline hits upon the idea of throwing an ironic hipster party with a cover charge. Thus is born the 90's Pop-Up Horse Party, where hipsters dress in styles I've never seen before, dance to bad 90's music I don't actually recognize, and pay $100 to ride a horse. Unfortunately for them, this wasn't an 80's party, so for forking over a benjamin all they got was to literally ride a horse.

How I Met Your Mother - 1x06 - History vs. Mystery

Ted, decides to try and go stalking-free on his latest date. Only for Marriage-After-the-First-Date-Ted, would that be considered a wacky idea.

Marshall and Lily, meanwhile, struggle with deciding whether to learn about the sex of their baby before it's born. Or, well, they struggle with Barney insisting they're struggling.

Dr.  Kumar  Kutner, on the other hand, struggles not to look like a super creepy, uncomfortable, paternalizing weirdo.

Everyone fails.

Because I CAN'T UNSEE

Up All Night - 1x05 - Mr. Bob's Toddler Kaleidoscope

Wow, this one is extremely late (for whatever value of late, late passes for around here). Apparently recaps are harder when your sinus and nasal cavities conspire to evict you from your own body. It's cool though, I just picked up some Kaleidoscope from Dr. Bob down on the corner, and now I'm writing four recaps at once. Unfortunately, they're all this same exact post. Yeah, I thought it'd be better too.

Luckily, what this recap lacks of timeliness and cleverness, this episode makes up for in spades. We get adorable buffoonery, an amusing Ava B-plot, and the best fictional-band-that-should-be-real since Scrantonicity.

2 Broke Girls - 1x04 - And the Rich People Problems

Another episode better than last weeks. There's continuing decrease in the ratio of bad jokes to good ones (though hoo boy, there are some stinkers). This show is slowly inching it's way to the potential it showed in the pilot.

And Earl gets lines that don't have to do with being black! Oleg makes a decent joke! Han's entire subplot doesn't revolve around not knowing the nuances the English language like a native speaker! It's a miracle!

How I Met Your Mother - 7x05 - Field Trip

Yay! Kumar's back!
Ew! He's dating Robin!

Yay! Ted's doing something different with his hair!
Ew! It's the hair on his chin.

Yay! It's another simultaneously pretty great, disturbing, and educational episode.
Ew! Kumar's still dating Robin. His patient.

Join me on this roller coaster ride. I promise Ewoks.

Recaps are HARD

Seriously, folk (singular. I'm not assuming multiple readers here). I'm averaging about four hours per half-hour comedy. Obviously that turnaround time has to go down, and it will, but in the meantime, just to push myself along, I thought I'd do quick (hah) takes on the rest of the shows I'm watching this season, even the ones I'm not caught up on!

Spoilers for ...a metric butt-load of shows follow.

Up All Night - 1x04 - New Car

This show is definitely moving in an upward trajectory. The jokes are just as funny, if not funnier than last week. We're seeing different sides to the characters that make them seen more three-dimensional. Cast charm is finally gelling with each other. And we even got to bring back some buffoonery, but in a way that's actually endearing and funny. Stay tuned for a very special episode of Up All Night, where we discuss the dangers of locker room horseplay...

Free Agents - 1x04 - Rebranding

Alex dips his toe into the dating pool (and gets something stuck on his foot), Helen tries to make sure absolutely no one in the world expresses an honest, heartfelt emotion, and Nerdy and Sleazy are actually somewhat relevant to the plot this time.

No they aren't.

2 Broke Girls - 1x03 - And Strokes of Goodwill

This wasn't so bad. Still a crapload of horrible jokes, but also a bunch of decent ones, and we didn't have to write off half the entire episode like last week. There wasn't much in the way of a central plot in this one, and that actually worked to its advantage. It was more a bunch of slices of Max and Caroline's new life together, which meant we got a lot of nice character moments and non-forced humor.

How I Met Your Mother - 7x04 - The Stinson Missile Crisis

Robin has FINALLY decided to get some much needed therapy for her bouts of ultra-violence. The word decided might be sugar-coating it though, as super-awesome-surprise-guest-star-Kal Penn! points out: she's in court-ordered therapy for assaulting a woman. Who thought that trapping Robin in a room and forcing her to talk about her feelings was a valid way to CURE her violent tendencies? Good luck, Kumar. We're all counting on you.

Free Agents - 1x03 - Dr. Hu

Unprofessional-ism abounds this week as Helen dates her almost psychiatrist, Stephen plays mind games with his staff, and Alex is a complete tool to his assistant Emma. Admittedly, Emma IS trying to steal his job, which is probably kind of frowned upon in most workplaces. What does all this contemptible dysfunction add up to? A pretty amusing episode for the most part, though one that's still failing to deliver big belly laughs.

Up All Night - 1x03 - Working Late and Working It

Men's underwear modelling, horrible 90's ballads, and shocking Spanx-evalations! Join us, on this weeks Ava, for the second fastest turn-around in my opinion of a show in the space of a week!

2 Broke Girls - 1x02 - And the Break-Up Scene

Wow. Huh. What was that? I'll tell you what it was. It was the sound of opinional (that's a word!) whiplash. It was the whooshing sound my expectations made as they were lifted and fell again. That was the fastest I've ever lost enthusiasm for a show since I found out Samantha Who wasn't the Doctor's next regeneration.  Okay maybe that's not fair. It wasn't completely horrendous. But damn, where did it go wrong? Let's find out! Or not. I'm pretty much committed to this whole reviewing thing now, but that doesn't mean you have to follow me down this dark path, dear readers.

How I Met Your Mother - 7x03 - Ducky Tie

So what do you know: Victoria. Didn't see that coming! This week we tie up some threads I didn't even realize were loose, and pull at some others I never thought they'd get around to trying. And yet, how could they not? So we follow Ted as he tries to make up for his philandering ways back in Season 1, gains a little insight and knowledge about his past and future along the way, and still manages to be the only cast member on this show not to have seen Lily's boobs. For shame Ted. Consider it punishment for cheating on the nauseatingly adorable cupcake lady.

Free Agents - 1x02 - What I Did For Work

Much like it's timeslot partner, Up All Night, somehow I missed that this had started already...or existed. I'll catch up on the pilot when I find it somewhere. In the meantime - Context-less first exposure reaction GO!

Up All Night - 1x02 - Cool Neighbors

Somehow I missed that this had started already...or existed. I'll catch up on the pilot when I find it somewhere (Hulu?). In the meantime - Context-less first exposure reaction GO!

2 Broke Girls - 1x01 - Pilot

Huh. Potential. Surprisingly a lot of potential.  Or, maybe, just surprising it has potential. Those posters and ads made it look like two parts Odd Couple, one part Tragically Late Paris Hilton Parody.  I was ready to completely ignore another three-camera laugh track sitcom based on a tired premise, when a commercial during the HIMYM permiere was kind enough to point out Kat Dennings was in it. Luckily, I'm always in a Kat Dennings mood, so, after accomplishing the Herculean task of not reaching over twelve inches to my left and lightly nudging the remote, I found myself the surprised recipient of an oddly satisfying episode.

How I Met Your Mother - 7x02 - The Naked Truth

Not much to say about this one. Martin Short finally gets back to Marshall about that dream job at the environmental legal agency of dogooding, or whatever. Everything is set to go, they just have to do the background check. Of course a background check will inevitably pull up a YouTube video (really? again?) of Beercules, Marshall's college-era drunk streaking alter-ego. Actually I kind of like this pattern of YouTube alter-egos. Ted has Schmosby, Marshall has Beercules, Robin has Robin Sparkles...Lily's next right? I don't think we want to see what alter-ego Barney would commit to video tape and put up on the internet...

How I Met Your Mother - 7x01 - The Best Man

We start out with Dad Ted telling his kids about the time he was Uncle Barney's best man and they both sat down and flash backed to the time he was Uncle Punchy's best man which involves flashing back to several other times Ted was Best Man at various weddings, each of which featured further flashbacks until finally we join Ted eating alone in a luxurious mansion overlooking an eroding beach at the shore of a collapsing citysca--what? No! We need to go deeper!