Free Agents - 1x04 - Rebranding

Alex dips his toe into the dating pool (and gets something stuck on his foot), Helen tries to make sure absolutely no one in the world expresses an honest, heartfelt emotion, and Nerdy and Sleazy are actually somewhat relevant to the plot this time.

No they aren't.



After watching him recieve a (sym)pathetic back-pat-hug from an attractive executive, Helen decides that Alex needs to "rebrand" himself, shake off his pity-inspiring divorce, and get back out in the dating pool. So, with the help of Sleazy, Nerdy and Emma, she sets up an online dating profile for him, picks out his date, and possibly, lays out his clothes.

It was absolutely shocking the girl on the left turned out to
be the girl on the right. 

To everyone's surprise, Alex's date is actually pretty damn stunning, and smart, and has a lot in common with him, seeing as she's divorced as well and struggling with a lot of the mixed emotions that entails. Unfortunately, after a few dates, we find out she's not so much struggling with mixed emotions, as she has pretty much become obssessed with them and may or may not be stalking her ex-husband for the past three years.

Alex, to his credit, has the wherewithal to hit the Eject button on that, but not before Helen gets sitcom-standard jealous. When she finds out that Alex plans on seeing this woman more than once, she effectively freaks out. The idea of two people bonding over shared honest emotion is about as disgusting on its face to her, as courting someone based on your digestive bacteria.

I especially like the ad on the lower right-side for wedding
rings.

She manages to set up and go through this entire Dana Whitaker Dating Plan Diaster in the few seconds of spare time she has while dealing with her latest assingment. A family-values chicken magnate (I guess Chik-a-Fil-A + Perdue?) has been caught inspecting the poultry in one of his restuarants' walk-in freezers. Now it's up to Helen to get his wife to pull a Julianna Marguiles up on the podium when they announce the cheating louse is a sex addict and is entering rehab. The wife is understandably reticent, but after watching Helen simulatenously bawling her eyes out over her dead fiance, and continuing on with her presentation, the wife is touched and/or horrified enough to do whatever the hell this crazy woman wants. Score one for emotional instability.

">Sob< -- please make sure to initial Form 22-B"

Speaking of emotionally mixed signals, we end with Helen calling Alex late at night, finding out that he broke up with Stalky McBawlyEyes, and then invites him over for "not talking about feelings". The next morning, she makes him stand out on the street for eleven minutes so it doesn't look like they walked in together. I'd love to be outraged on Alex's behalf here but, I would do absolutely nothing differently.

Okay, seriously, you women don't really wait around at home
dressed like that, do you? My experiences with binoculars and restraining orders had led me to believe
otherwise.

--

Pretty decent episode. I did, in fact, laugh out loud once or twice. Most notably during the park scene, where Dawn lets it slip ever so subtly that not only does she return to the benches where she was proposed and divorced on, but that she and her husband lived "right over there". Nice touch. The sight gag with Alex's two pictures was also worth a good chuckle.

The picture on the right makes me so sad, I tear up a little...

Nerdy and Sleazy continue to be mostly pointless, though I do have a hard time imagining how they could've pulled off that hug-analyzing-scene without the two of them, so I guess they are good for something. They need to do more to stand out though. Anthony Head and Natasha Leggero as Skeevy Boss and Bitchy Assistant may be stuck in equally cliche roles, but they knock them out of the park. The only thing that stands out about those too is the fact that Al Madrigan never. stops. looking. creepy.

These guys know what you wear at home when you're alone...

All in all, still glad this is on my DVR.

Late Edit: Unfortunately, the ratings don't seem to agree.  Replaced by reruns of Whitney?!? I can understand this show not picking up enough steam to excite the execs, but replacing it with reruns of Whitney? Fucking seriously?? I will hunt down every single one of you bastards that watches that show and beat you with your own television. You obviously can't be trusted to use it responsibly.