How I Met Your Mother - 7x20 - Trilogy Time

Speaking of padding...

Every three years Marshall and Ted (and eventually Barney) get together to watch all three original Star Wars movies back to back, reflect on how shitty their lives are, and imagine how much better they'll be in the next three years.

So that means we spend the entire episode swide-swooping through real and imagined versions of the guys lives between 2003 and today, accomplishing little and learning nothing we didn't already know. Well except for one bonus flash forward to 2015...

Over 30% of U.S. divorces stem from a partners inability
to just give up on HIMYM after seven years already.

Look, I'll give this episode credit, it managed to make me genuinely laugh for the first time in weeks. The cold open about the poor neighbor obsessed with Barney's nightly ritual was a pitch perfect setup to an actually-funny fart joke. Yes, I know! I didn't think one actually existed. I also really liked the idea that there's this whole Seinfeldian world of hapless victims caught in the periphery of the gang's narcissistic web of wangst.

But mostly it was that it turned out to be a fart joke.

Also, having everyone yelling at Barney for his "I have to assert my dominance as a man!" crap was worth a hearty chuckle.

"You are a monster!"

That said, it only took till the second or third flash-back/forward/sideways before it was just not funny anymore dude. I don't mean it was inherently a bad joke or a lousy idea, but at a certain point it stopped being an humorous look at adolescent naivete and just became a thankless slog through all the depressing shit these guys, and the show, have been through. Stella leaving Ted. Marshall's career roller coaster. Lily's frustrated dreams.

And the frustrating part is that it was all for no real reason. We didn't learn anything here that we didn't already know from, you know, watching the show for the past seven years. It was a clip show, but without fun, fan favorite moments from the past that everyone loves. Throwing Cobie Smulders into fifteen ridiculous outfits and accents can't cover up for the fact that, for most of this episode, there's no there, there.

It's amazing how literally any other hairstyle looks great on Cobie Smulders,
except the one they've got her in this season

Yes, it helps Barney realize that he wants to commit to Quinn and that he's willing to give up a little autonomy to do it. And yes, it probably is a little fitting that seeing Ted's life laid out, Ghost of Christmas Past style is what motivates Barney to sack up. But I'm not really sure that's enough to hang an entire episode's worth of filler on.

"So what do you think? Breaking another dozen mugs should
kill another four minutes or so, right?"

Unless the whole point was to show us that in the year 2015, Ted has a daughter. Which I guess, is supposed to be a big shock in line with Barney's wedding and The Goat, but just kind of falls flat. I mean, on the one hand, 2015 is far enough away that we know they can drag out any significant progress on that story line forever, maybe even until after the show ends. And on the other hand, anyone who can do the basic math has to realize that if Old Ted is telling this story in the year 2030, then Lyndsey Fonseca has to be born like tomorrow.

"Surprise! Not my daughter, but the mother!"

Random Thoughts

• Wait, Quinn got rid of ALL her stuff when she moved into Barneys? Who does that?
• Robin: "That's why I've never thrown anything out for any relationship, ever!"--- didn't you used to have FOUR DOGS that you gave up? For Ted?
• For the first time in Barney's life he doesn't want to find himself with some random girl in three years. Robin? Nora? Sigh.