How I Met Your Mother - 7x12 - Symphony of Illumination

Game Reset.

Seriously, what the fuck? That was...low. Truth be told, I only had myself to blame for getting my hopes up. It's not like I'm NEW to formulaic television and sitcoms. Why WOULD this show take a daring risk to reinvent itself or even reaffirm it's principal conceit, when it could just hit the reset button, paper over any real consequences with some sad faces and mournful eyes that last all of one episode, and stick to the same formula of stubborn attrition that's worked for them so well over the past seven years. But did they have to do it so cruelly? Did they really have to change the entire shows narrative framing device (for the very first time), just to pull an extended gotcha! The outcome may have been expected, but that doesn't make it less frustrating or disappointing. I mean, for fuck's sake, at this stage in the game, even Friends was shaking up it's formula more than HIMYM is. That's just tragic, right there.

Really wish I still had time to make the animated gifs

First off, it turns out Robin's not really pregnant. It's a false alarm, which she and Barney celebrate with an admittedly awesome Maury dance. But, unfortunately, it's the most ironic false alarm in the history of ever, since it turns out that she can *never* have kids. As you might expect this news doesn't lead to "Woo-hoo! No more birth control!" victory dancing, but more like clinical depression. It's not exactly a new trope on long running shows, but it's not exactly an unrealistic one, so I give it a pass. Robin keeps the news to herself, but no one really buys that her weeks long emotional low is because she's too tall to a professional pole-vaulter. Ultimately, Ted takes it upon himself to cheer her up, despite not knowing what's wrong, and puts together a righteously rocking indoor christmas display set to AC/DC. Aww.

Cobie hits this whole ep out of the park, naturally. Hell this whole season has been her showcase so far, but this still feels, plot-wise, like a poor substitution for an actual plot progression. Perhaps especially so, because of the super cruel cheat they used to keep us hooked for the length of the episode. See, for the first time in seven years, we completely upend the signature framing device, to temporarily turn the show into "How I Met Your Father", told from FutureRobin's point of view to her two adorable teens, sitting on the couch in Barney's apartment! It's pretty fucking awesomesauce. At least until it turns out to all be an extended narrative middle finger. I imagine the writers probably meant it to be a moving, heart-wrenching trip through a dark period in Robin's life. In practice however, it really served no other purpose than to just misdirect us, and keep our hopes up for as long as possible, until the very end, when the whole thing turns out to be Robin's internal monologue/fantasy, as she sits alone on a park bench with nothing but an empty carton of egg nog, mourning for a lost future. There was really no call for that...

Barney meanwhile, has easily reset his biological clock after catching sight of an old drinking buddy and his domestic emasculation. So again, another significant character change undone. Back to  sociopathic sex predations  good times picking up chicks for the Barnacle.

Marshall has arguably the second best subplot when he befriends a neighborhood kid seemingly in need of a father figure while putting up his titular Symphony of Illumination Christmas lights display. I've always felt Jason Segel does his best work when the plot forces him to act, you know, human, but damn, if Marshall being stuck on the roof and screaming through the skylight didn't make me chuckle.

So...yeah. Here we are again. Ted is still Mother-less. Marshall and Lily have moved to a new place (which doesn't promise to have any greater impact on the plot than their move to Dowisetrepla did, despite the real-world distances involved). Robin's been beat around by life something fierce (again), but is going to be otherwise okay. Her and Barney are officially friends. Barney's back to loving the single life again. Oh right, Nora. Yeah, I guess that's one thing that's different. I'm so glad we lost Nora for this...

U MAD?