New Girl - 1x11 - Jess and Julia

Someone finally calls Jess out on her hyper annoying twee bullshit. And it's none other than Lizzy's new character, Julia. Which is why it's kind of a shame the premise of this episode isn't nearly as satisfying as it would've been a few weeks ago. Unfortunately it happens now, about three episodes after said hyper annoying bullshit got toned way the fuck down, so it just comes off like petty cattiness on Julia's part. Despite that though, we actually get another pretty great episode. Caplan's great as always, Jess is not only tolerable, but sympathetic, and even socially saavy to a degree we haven't seen before. Winston, honest-to-god-this-time, gets something to do. And of course, Schmidt douches it up hilariously, once again.

That's why they're so perfect! She's always frowning too!
...Suddenly my recent Jake Johnson's dreams make an
unwelcome amount of sense...

We'll get to the Julia/Jess spat in a minute, but in the meantime, Nick has bigger fish to fry.
He and Julia are stuck in that whole "how do we define this relationship" phase/game of chicken, and neither one wants to blink. It's obvious neither of them want to date other people, but they're both so perfectly matched in curmuddgeonlessness (trademark!), that they quickly end up sabotaging the entire relationship. It's a a little sad, but frequently funny, especially the scene where they keep trying to one-up each other by pretending they're sleeping with other people ("That's right, I'm sleeping with someone now. Under the bar. And she's on top. Figure that out!"), but it really serves to highlight how fucking perfect these two are for each other. I've been a fan of how subtly the whole Nick/Jess subplot has been handled, but Julia is a far, far better match for him than Jess would ever be, both in-universe and entertainment-wise. I would easily watch a show about these two just snarking it up and pretending to be way too cool for school for an hour every week. Anyway, a couple of crying jags later from everyone involved (even Nick!), and the two crazy kids make up and make out.

He wasn't lying about sex behind the bar thing, though.
It just turns out his everyday face is also his O-face.

The fact that Jess meddles in that entire mess probably doesn't help her case with Julia. Julia doesn't like Jess. She may not hate her, per se, but she's totally got a very low tolerance for the whole "bluebirds come and help [you] dress in the morning thing", as she puts it. Man, can you imagine if she came in around Kryptonite? She tries to be diplomatic about it, and even offers to help Jess get out of a speeding ticket in traffic court, but things very quickly escalate to an awkward impasse.

"And why the fuck aren't you ever in a pantsuit? Don't you
realize how demeaning 'smart casual' is?"

I'm not going to pretend the whole "girls have a whole passive-aggressive insult code" thing is some kind of big revelation, but it was handled in a pretty mature (is that right word for this situation?) manner. There weren't any throwdown cat fights or put down bitch fests. You can totally see where Julia is coming from (even though we've seen Jess act way worse), and surprisingly enough, you actually kind of take Jess' side. As annoying as Jess has been in the past, hating someone because "if I acted like that at work, I'd be laughed at" is kind of a lame reason when that person's job is to work with young children. There might be something to be said, feminism-wise, about not bringing perceptions of your gender down with childish behavior (and I would be the last person with standing to even approach such an argument), but it rings particularly hollow in this case. Luckily a couple of dramatic whisper-throw-downs later, Julia apologizes, makes up with Jess, and joins the girls on their knitting night.

"I have literally been right over there this entire time.
Has your cheap ass really not bought a wide-screen yet?"

Yes, I said girls. Out of absolutely fucking nowhere Jess suddenly has a new best girlfriend, Sadie, who's also a gynecologist, a lesbian, and perhaps minored in Intermediate Roommate Zinging. She literally appears from the ether, chilling out with Jess and Cece one morning as if she'd been there all along. From a meta point of view, it's kind of hilarious how randomly she's just... there, with very little context or background. But, unsurprisingly, she's actually kind of awesome. She easily fits right in with the vibe of the show (something Justin Long never quite got the hang of), the tempo of the dialogue, and delivers the best Schmidt-insults this ep. I vote she comes back also! I get a vote, right?

Pictured: Schmidt resolving interpersonal conflicts.

Speaking of Schmidt, as usual, he gets the best damn subplot of the episode, stomping around the entire time, absolutely incensed that his towel is always damp when he comes out of the shower. For some reason he blames this on the increase of girls in the apartment. I have no idea how that logic followed, but I don't think I was supposed to. An awesome scene where he basically yells out his intentions for Jess and Cece ("Not going to happen" and "I will NEVER give up!" respectively, aww) and manages to somehow sleaze on Lesbian Gyno Friend Sadie (LGFS?) without actually hitting on her, is easily one of the highlights of the episode. Extra points to Max Greenfield for continuously pronouncing "chutney" as "chuteney" each of the sixty-four times he said it. In the end it turns out that the reason his towel is damp all the time is because Nick thinks it's his towel, and has been using it for years. I really can't do justice to the classic Nick/Schmidt Screaming Fight that comes out of this, but suffice it to say we learn some disturbing things about Nick.

"You do not want to know what I've done to that loofah."

In the tiniest subplot of them all, Winston actually gets some character development! I know! Watching him actually work through his own shortcomings to win Shelby back was such a welcome change from the usual "Winston has to learn to stop being so competitive" schtick. I mean, Nick and Schmidt's plots also tend to revolve around their own singular character traits, but their traits aren't so generic and boring. So yeah, the plot itself wasn't that special, but it was touching and sweet and another side to Winston that we don't generally get to see, so I liked it. I hope we see Shelby again.

All the managers at the diners around me are middle-aged Greek men.
And they are horrible at relationships...

I am so glad to see this show is hitting it's stride, dropping shit that didn't work, bringing in awesome supporting guest stars. More female friends for Jess, please. More actual character plots for Winston. Basically, exactly what you've been doing, show. Keep it up.