2 Broke Girls - 1x16 - And the Broken Hearts

So, once again, I'm choosing to only focus on the good points of this show because it's really, truly depressing to just keep writing "the jokes suck" for 1,500 words. But luckily, if you ignore the first 15 minutes in the diner, there's a lot to enjoy here.

Earl has a heart attack. Max basically freaks out and goes into hyper-protective mama-bear mode. Or daughter-bear mode? Or Morgan-Freeman's-Step-Granddaughter-Bear mode, considering all the super icky fake flirting that's happened in the past. Ew, she also claimed he was Morgan Freeman in order to get him preferential treatment at the hospital. I don't want to follow this analogy anymore, it makes me feel dirty in my inside.

That she threatened to do it with her fingernail is what makes
it all the more horrifying...

When threatening to cut the admitting nurse so deep he'll "have a vagina" doesn't seem to get Earl anywhere, Caroline remembers that she used to date a cute young doctor whose family also happens to have donated the very same hospital wing they're in. So a little flirting-slash-grovelling later, Earl has a VIP room and top notch medical care. Nice. Who needs single-payer in this country, when any self-sufficient American can know a rich person or someone whose vagina a rich person once wanted to visit.

Doctor Rich Dude actually seems like a pretty nice, even keeled guy, perfectly willing to help out the girls even though Caroline dumped him after he said he wanted to do pro-bono work (I bet he did). That was kind of sad to find out. I always kind of assumed that Rich Caroline was still the same non-stuckup, standup kid she is now. Oh well. Some cute flirting ensues, but when Caroline asks him out, he turns her down flat. Flat and cold. Like ...an ice cube? Man I suck at those.

Don't look at me like that! How many ---ohhh glacier!

This was *almost* a really interesting twist, because I honestly thought he had turned her down because she had broken his heart for such a shallow, snobbish reason. It really would've been a nice new facet to Caroline since we haven't really had to see her atone for her past before. We've never heard anything she's ever done wrong, she's essentially been a saint for the entirety of the show. It could've also served to give us a gut-kick that we, as the audience, could more readily identify with. They keep telling us that losing her fortune was horrible, but how many of us really know what that's like? Losing her father is a more personal angst, but seeing as he's essentially Bernie Madoff, it's hard to give her all our sympathy. But being dumped because of something horrible you legitimately did a long time ago? That's a humanizing crotch punch I think a lot of people can understand.

But no, Doctor Moneybags dumped her because he's secretly a Snobby Doctor Moneybags, and can't imagine what it would be like bringing a member of such a disgraced family back to his parents. What would they think? He gives a half-hearted "her father hurt a lot of people", but it's obvious he's just embarassed to know her. Weak sauce.

"I mean, you haven't even beaten a homeless man to death since
last season's cotillion!  What would we ever have to talk about
at dinner?

Luckily we had some legitimately sweet scenes with Max and Earl, where, icky Morgan Freeman jokes aside, it's pretty obvious he's her surrogate dad, and he sees her as family. For all the crap I give this show (and it's richly deserved), it's really good at crafting these genuine touching moments between two characters without the need to beat us over the head with the themes they're trying to convey. For instance, there is a scene that reminds us that Max never knew her dad and that is A Sad Thing, but it's nowhere near any of the Earl scenes, nor is the word "father" ever brought up when Max and Earl are talking about how he worries about her and considers her family. It's just...nice.

The episode ends with the girls schlepping back home on the day after Valentine's day after a long few nights at the hospital, only to find that Caroline's dad didn't forget to send her flowers like he does every year. Aww. And he also sent a bouquet for Max, with a card thanking her for taking care of his daughter. Double Awww.